Most of the time when we think we’re feeling our feelings, we’re actually resisting them 😅
Just because you can tell you’re sad doesn’t mean you’re letting yourself feel it…most of us have had the experience of needing to cry but not letting ourselves go there. Emotions contain information; they exist to get us to take action. They only let go when we feel what we’re feeling through to completion, and get the message we’re meant to receive.
I had a client who was feeling anxious at the beginning of the pandemic, as many of us were. When we looked at what the anxiety was trying to tell them, it was to buy some staples like lentils and pasta, and to have more cash on hand. Once they let themselves listen to the anxiety, it released–they knew what they needed to do next, and felt calm.
One way to find out what an emotion wants from us is to ask: What message is this feeling trying to give me? If it had its way, what would it have me do? We need to feel the emotions to understand what they’re trying to tell us, which is often uncomfortable, so we resist feeling them, and we miss the message they’re trying to deliver.
When you let yourself feel, you receive the insight you need, and the negative emotion you were feeling is replaced by a positive emotion. As you move toward your feels with curiosity instead of resistance, over time your relationship with them changes, and you start to welcome them as a gift. 🎁